Domestic Abuse Services Information

Some Information To Consider If You Are In A Violent Relationship

You Are Not The Only One: Research shows that as many as one in four women are in an abusive relationship at some time in their life.  It happens to people of all ages, all classes, all races, all religions, all levels of education and to women with or without children.

You Are Not To Blame: You are not responsible for the violence.  Your abuser has choices about other ways to react, such as walking away until he (she) is calmer.

You Cannot Change Your Abusers Behavior: You will probably have already noticed that it doesn’t make much difference what you do to pacify him/her when he/she is violent anyway.  The only way for your abuser to change is for them to realise they have a problem and for them to seek help for their behaviour.

Tell Someone– Don’t Remain Isolated: You have nothing to be ashamed of: don’t keep the abuse secret.  Get help from someone you trust or contact one of the organisations listed at the beginning of the directory. The more isolated you are, the harder it becomes to take action – don’t suffer alone.

Ignoring Violence Is Dangerous: Violence rarely happens only once.  In fact it is much more usual for the violence to get more and more serious the longer it goes on. 

Health And Feelings: Looking After Yourself: Being in a violent relationship can have a huge impact on your health - physically and emotionally.  It is important that you receive medical treatment for any injuries you may have, as sometimes injuries can be a lot worse than they first appear.

You may feel tired and run down, you may be depressed and feel you cannot cope. This may happen even after you have left the relationship because of all the changes you will have been making.  Some people turn to alcohol, drugs, self-abuse or attempt suicide just to get through the pain that they feel. 

Although it can be difficult at this time, try to remember that you are strong and that you are a person of value.  Your health is important.  Try to talk about your feelings rather than blocking them out. 

Talk to your GP or health visitor about why you have injuries or feel depressed.  Remember evidence will be useful if you take your abuser to court.  If your GP is unsympathetic, remember you can change doctors easily by contacting the local Community Health Council

Ask your Health Visitor or at your local Health Centre about any groups in the area, which could offer you, support and counselling.  You may want to consider individual counselling to try and sort out your feelings.  (See Family Mediation/Lifestyle.)

There Is Life After An Abusive Relationship: Although it may appear very difficult to do any of the things suggested in this section of the directory there are many benefits as many people start new and rewarding lives and discover that they enjoy living without a partner.  Many more start new and loving relationships, which they never believed were possible when they were with their abusive partner.